Talking Points for Obamabots

Now that thousands of you have already signed up for Obama '12 and are champing at the bit to work those phones a year and a half before Election Day, here's a script I just unearthed to help you connect one-on-one with the undecided folks in the heartland. If they tell you they won't be voting for Obama, here's what you say:

If you don’t support Barack, you’re enabling the Tea Party

People who criticize the president are racists.

He was a left a mess by Bush and he's doing his best to clean it up.  He’s been trying to drive the car out of the ditch. He has to deal with circumstances beyond his control, every minute of every day.  Give him a break. He’s only been president for 26 months and we’ve had 200 years of bad governance.

Lily Ledbetter, Lily Ledbetter, Lily Ledbetter.

If you don’t support Obama, then Sarah Palin/Newt Gingrich/Michele Bachmann will become president and the world will end.  Is that what you really want?

He was solely responsible for the repeal of DADT. He inspired the Egyptian Revolution. He had to give tax breaks to the rich to save the middle class down the road. Because of him, we will all, someday, have the privilege of buying private health insurance.

He is the only grownup in the room. Everybody else is a child. 

A third party candidate or primary challenger will just be a spoiler.

He is playing three dimensional chess, so give him the benefit of the doubt. You should trust him because he has a higher IQ. than you do.

He has to pander to the corporations now, so he can become the true progressive he wants to be during his second term.  He has to pretend to love Wall Street because without their money he couldn't get re-elected.  That's how politics works.  Can I put you down for $25?

Some people just don't appreciate nuance. 

Pragmatism is the greatest virtue ever invented.

He’s the only thing standing  in the way of a total fascist takeover of the Supreme Court.

Have I left anything out?