Rumsfeld Redux

Donald Rumsfeld, that grandfatherly aficianado of torture, is the latest in the long line of Bush War Criminals to come out with a Book. It's called "Known and Unknown," an allusion to one of the most convoluted explanations for the non-existence of WMDs ever to come from the fevered brain of a neo-con. (see quote below). He really didn't have to waste 800-plus pages of precious tree material to say what he has already tortuously said on so many cringe-worthy occasions. He should have called it "Drone of a Bush Clone." Here, in a nutshell, is what the Donald says in his moany groany tome:


"Death has a tendency to induce a depressing view of war".


"Freedom is untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and do bad things." (he was referring to the plunder of priceless artifacts from Iraq's museums, but in retrospect, he unintentionally was referring to the whole war itself, with him as one of the freedom-loving bad guys).


"As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you want or might wish to have at a later time."


"Osama Bid Laden is either alive and well or alive and not too well or not alive".


"I believe what I said yesterday. I don't know what I said, but I know what I think, and well, I assume that's what I said."


"Needless to say, the President is correct. Whatever it was he said."


"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are very interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns, there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."


And there's this, which I swear he plagiarized from Sarah Palin: "I'm not into this detail stuff. I'm more concepty."


I wrote a response to Maureen Dowd's column on Rummy today, but it was rejected - I assume because of the nasty tone I assumed, and we all know we must be civil in today's climate of hate, particularly to those most deserving of our wrath. I had originally called for burning Rummy's books, but on second thought, even Satan has the right to free speech, so I have amended it somewhat:


Donald Rumsfeld is a connoisseur of torture - past, present and future. He bought and lives in a house in Maryland that was the site of the torture of Frederick Douglass by notorious slave-breaker Edward Covey. It's called Misery Hill - but by all accounts Rummy is living there happily in comfortable retirement, complete with taxpayer-funded benefits and health care. He is so well-to-do, in fact, that he's donating the proceeds of his book to a scholarship fund for American students. No foreigners, no survivors of Iraquis killed in the invasion have been invited to apply. No apologist and no soul-searcher is Ronald Dumsfeld.


Despite cheerfully admitting giving the big A-OK to torture at both Abu Ghraib and Gitmo, Rumsfeld is free to slither from one corporate media-hosted softball interview to the next to plug his memoirs. I hope he crosses the pond in search of some book-signings in, say, Switzerland. I heard there are lots of fans over there just dying to meet him...Amnesty International, the Center for Constitutional Rights. You know, in parts of the civilized world that still take the Geneva Conventions on torture seriously - and where warrants for the arrests of Bush and Co. are rumored to be the works.
There may be a few countries left that haven't been pressured by the Obama Administration to drop such nonsense in the interests of looking forward and the status quo and foreign aid and stuff. Georgie W. just had to cancel a speech in Geneva because not only were protesters on the agenda, but there were some stray flying shoes and legal documents in the mix too.


I haven't seen Rumsfeld's book on the New York Times bestseller list yet, despite the hype, and with any luck, all copies will soon be gathering dust in the bargain bins of Wal-Mart. And when it comes time to dispose of them, vendors and the publisher must take care. The unsold volumes must be treated as hazardous waste - otherwise they will just contaminate the rest of the garbage in the landfills.


Stay tuned - we still have Cheney's trip down nightmare lane to look forward to. Oh, and I almost forgot - Happy Belated Ronald Reagan's 100th Birthday, although I'm sure the extravaganza will go on at least as long as his funeral.