The Truthers Are Out There

This just in from Conspiracy Theory Central: Osama was already dead. No, wait, he's really still alive. The CIA assassination of the world's most hated mass murderer was a monumental hoax, perpetrated by a desperate United States government for the purpose of further bending us to its nefarious will. The so-called insta-DNA testing was a sham; everybody knows it takes days to get results. The dead sister's brain was really Osama's brain in a jar. The White House photo that had Hillary holding a hand to her mouth to stifle a horrified gasp was really the cabinet watching a cheesy rerun of "24".  The possibilities are endless. 



"Hey. Over Here! Anybody Seen My Dialysis Machine?"



"Think about it," writes columnist and former Reagan Treasury Secretary Paul Craig Roberts. "What are the chances that a person allegedly suffering from kidney disease and requiring dialysis and, in addition, afflicted with diabetes and low blood pressure, survived in mountain hideaways for a decade?  If bin Laden was able to acquire dialysis equipment and medical care that his condition required, would not the shipment of dialysis equipment point to his location? Why did it take ten years to find him?.....This morning’s headline has the odor of a staged event.  The smell reeks from the triumphalist news reports loaded with exaggerations, from celebrants waving flags and chanting'USA USA.' Could something else be going on?"

Conspiracy theories usually pop up after the death of a larger than life figure.  Elvis sightings have been reported since he succumbed to a drug overdose. Princess Diana is hiding out somewhere with her lover Dodi: she staged her own death to get away from the paparazzi.  Truther Kevin Barrett claims Bin Laden has actually been dead since shortly after the terror attacks. "If in fact US authorities suspected Osama Bin Laden was involved with 9/11, and was still alive, they would have pulled out all the stops to take him alive" Barrett blogged. " And if they had screwed up royally and killed him, would they have immediately dumped the body at sea?! Given the formidable case that Bin Laden died in 2001, obviously US authorities would have taken pains to prove to a skeptical world that the corpse or specter or whatever it was they possessed was the real Bin Laden. Feeding the body to the fishes so fast looks...well, calling it 'fishy' would be an insult to the scaly denizens of the deep."  

No doubt about it - conspiracy theories are fun. I used to love wrapping myself up in the weekly paranoid cocoon of tongue-in-cheek "X-Files" episodes.  The only trouble is, I don't think our government is smart enough to have concocted such a convoluted fraud as a fake Osama assassination.  Too many people were involved.  The truth is out there, all right. A group of highly trained Navy Seals* took out a murderous creep and now the politicians are using it to their own advantage.  That seems pretty above-board to me.

* Update 5/4:  I took some well-deserved criticism from a reader, John from Louisiana, over my original characterization of the squad as "killing machines."  I have revised my copy accordingly. A more apt description is that the military utilizes its members as machines of war, damages their psyches in many instances, but by no means robs them of their core humanity. I stand corrected and thank John for his thoughtful commentary. 

How to Spend a Windfall in Political Capital

President Obama is having a very good week.  He actually got Donald Trump to zip his trap and go away. The killing of the world's worst terrorist and one of the most hated men in history went off without a hitch.  If Republicans aren't enthusiastically praising him, they are at least having the good sense to keep their mouths shut.*

Obama has got himself some real power, some political capital he has not possessed since his inauguration.  The question is, what will he do with it?

Will he strong-arm his opponents and push through legislation that's been stagnating in the doldrums?  If he were to march to Capitol Hill and demand passage of the DREAM Act, for example, can you imagine sourpuss Mitch McConnell responding that his main goal is not to give the president a second term?  Now is the time for Obama to come out swinging for Elizabeth Warren as permanent head of the Consumer Financial Protection Agency and show he will stand up for the middle class.

  He must capitalize on this National Assassination Celebration. Political good moods are temporary things.  George Bush the Elder had 90 percent approval ratings after the routing of Iraq from Kuwait and not long after was soundly defeated by Bill Clinton.  It was the economy, stupid -- remember?

Now is also the time to declare Mission Accomplished in Afghanistan and start bringing the troops home, ahead of the tenuous July drawdown schedule.  Otherwise, the excuses for staying will start multiplying like rabbits. Clean breaks are better than compound fractures.  Let the President point to the reduction in the defense budget as a reason to start investing in jobs and infrastructure here at home.

The next few weeks will be crucial.  Progressives will be putting Obama to the test.  If he continues to intone the Bipartisan Mantra and stall on important legislation and invite the same old compromise, I will throw up my hands in despair. He has proven he is no Jimmy Carter, so he shouldn't feel he has to be Jimmy Carter.

And if he continues to talk about civility being an end in itself, we should simply point out this incontrovertible fact.  Mr. President -- you just ordered an assassination.  So how about kicking a little Republican ass for a change?  Prove once and for all you are not one of them. Either seize the day or watch your newfound support crumble as fast as it was resurrected. 

* Update 5/9 -  Wow, was that wishful thinking or what?  What a difference a week and 2500 cable news shows make. Cheney, Cheney, Condi, Rummy, Fredo, Mukasey... all the ghouls have arisen from the grave.

Osama is Dead, But We're Still in a Mess

Killing Osama bin Laden was like squashing an aged infertile spider long after it had already spawned thousands of genetic copies of itself to keep the toxin spreading.  While I'm happy that this monster no longer draws breath, neither am I dancing in the streets and waving the American flag.  I am glad if survivors and relatives of 9/11 victims are able to find closure today. I'll be really glad if the President uses the occasion to declare "Mission Accomplished: the troops are coming home!" -- but we know that's not gonna happen.  

While I was awaiting the President's speech last night, I endured Wolf Blitzer and John King's pontifications on the Most Important Day Ever, in the History of the Entire Universe.  During a lull, Wolf conducted a telephone interview with a New York City firefighter who spent days at Ground Zero and subsequently developed cancer, probably from breathing in all those toxins the EPA blithely assured us were all perfectly innocuous.  The exchange ended like this (No transcript - I am paraphrasing).

Firefighter:  "And now that we finally got him, I hope that we can bring the troops home from Afghani-"

Blitzer:  "Back to you, John!  I see since our cameras lit up the scene in front of the White House, thousands are gathering and singing The Star Spangled Banner!" 

Cynic that I am, I have to wonder about that massive compound surrounded by razor wire, practically right next door to Pakistan's version of West Point, going unnoticed all these years.  Doesn't the CIA have Google Earth?  Didn't they talk to the neighbors, who have noticed for a long time that the occupants of the compound never brought out any freaking garbage?  Does the timing have anything to do with the killing of K-Daffy's grandkids by a NATO strike getting all that bad press?  Did they think Osama's death would cancel out that collateral damage?

I don't know.  Meanwhile, let's forget all about this week's congressional deregulation of the financial industry and the Treasury's plan to exempt trillions of dollars of foreign exchange trades from any pesky oversight. Let's pretend there is not 25 percent real unemployment and show the nervous markets how confident we all feel.  Let's all go shopping and take in a Broadway show.